Sustenance

It's a Saturday afternoon, the furry boys are snoozing somewhere, partner is in bed having a kip after an 03:30 rise for work, it's raining outside, I'm still in my pj's and I'm making soup.

There's something about making soup that reminds me of my Granny. She made the best soup I've ever eaten. I don't know what she did to make it taste so good but I've never been able to recreate hers. It usually tasted even better on the second day too! Mine is okay, don't get me wrong but it just doesn't capture my Granny's version at all. Oh well, I guess it's not supposed to anyway. Each generation adds their own something and so it evolves.

Winter is the time for making thick soups that are almost a meal in themselves. I love hearty soups with a hunk of bread cos they're easy to eat and fill you up too. I'll divide mine up into portions and freeze it so I can take it in to work for lunch. Yummy. It's also a sneaky way to get veggies into my diet cos I'm not that great at the 5:2 (veg:fruit) recommended every day.

My partner probably won't eat it... All the more for me! yaaaay!

Being mindful.

So, my last post was the Desiderata. I've read it before but this time, when I read it in an email I was sent, it struck me how simple the suggestions are. It asks that you slow down and listen to people, take care of yourself and to be mindful of your surroundings. I do none of these things on any kind of regular basis, especially at work.

I work in the public sector as an RN and we are advertised as "the caring profession". However, I would like to know when someone is going to care for me. I am often spoken at in anger and frustration by patients and relatives who do not like to be kept waiting. I myself don't like to be kept waiting but would like to think I'm a little more personable to the people who make me do so than the folk I encounter on a daily basis.

I wonder if the world we live in has fostered this need for immediate gratification even in the arena of health care. Managers want patients treated faster and beds to be turned over quicker so as to justify their audits and financial targets. Patients don't want to wait for antibiotics to work or for surgery to be carried out in order to improve their health. Everything must be done yesterday to appease this need for constant motion, even if it is backwards!

Nurses are being stretched to their limits and sometime soon that elastic band is gonna snap. I get home sometimes, feeling like I've been running on the spot all day dodging bullets. If we ask for help, we're told to provide evidence that there's a problem. To provide that same evidence requires an audit or questionnaire or some other piece of paperwork to be completed, usually by an RN who is already struggling to give basic care to her patients. I get that black & white proof is irrefutable evidence that cannot (should not) be ignored but come on. We already complete enough paperwork on a daily basis to fell several forests and the thought of more is soul destroying and taking me away from what I'm supposed to be doing... Nursing!

I would love to take heed of the suggestions offered in the Desiderata and put them to use at work. I'm afraid the hospital management would most likely think I'd flipped my lid if I used it as defense when things weren't moving quickly enough for them. I don't want to feel like I'm pushing against a brick wall but I am and as a result I'm usually not the kind of person I'd ideally like to be as a colleague. I don't know if that's my own opinion or if my co-workers would agree but that's the way I feel most days.

How do I fix it? Who the hell knows? I understand that I alone, am responsible for my own behaviour and mental health so maybe I do need to be more mindful. If I slow down and listen to the world, maybe just maybe, the world will stop and take a breath with me too.

Then everyone can get what they want but just a little later than scheduled ;-D

Go Placidly

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what
peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms
with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they
too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to
the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain
or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser
persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a
real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world
is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what
virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and
everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither
be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and
disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully
surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden
misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark
imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and
loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and
the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the
universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him
to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the
noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still
a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann