Being mindful.

So, my last post was the Desiderata. I've read it before but this time, when I read it in an email I was sent, it struck me how simple the suggestions are. It asks that you slow down and listen to people, take care of yourself and to be mindful of your surroundings. I do none of these things on any kind of regular basis, especially at work.

I work in the public sector as an RN and we are advertised as "the caring profession". However, I would like to know when someone is going to care for me. I am often spoken at in anger and frustration by patients and relatives who do not like to be kept waiting. I myself don't like to be kept waiting but would like to think I'm a little more personable to the people who make me do so than the folk I encounter on a daily basis.

I wonder if the world we live in has fostered this need for immediate gratification even in the arena of health care. Managers want patients treated faster and beds to be turned over quicker so as to justify their audits and financial targets. Patients don't want to wait for antibiotics to work or for surgery to be carried out in order to improve their health. Everything must be done yesterday to appease this need for constant motion, even if it is backwards!

Nurses are being stretched to their limits and sometime soon that elastic band is gonna snap. I get home sometimes, feeling like I've been running on the spot all day dodging bullets. If we ask for help, we're told to provide evidence that there's a problem. To provide that same evidence requires an audit or questionnaire or some other piece of paperwork to be completed, usually by an RN who is already struggling to give basic care to her patients. I get that black & white proof is irrefutable evidence that cannot (should not) be ignored but come on. We already complete enough paperwork on a daily basis to fell several forests and the thought of more is soul destroying and taking me away from what I'm supposed to be doing... Nursing!

I would love to take heed of the suggestions offered in the Desiderata and put them to use at work. I'm afraid the hospital management would most likely think I'd flipped my lid if I used it as defense when things weren't moving quickly enough for them. I don't want to feel like I'm pushing against a brick wall but I am and as a result I'm usually not the kind of person I'd ideally like to be as a colleague. I don't know if that's my own opinion or if my co-workers would agree but that's the way I feel most days.

How do I fix it? Who the hell knows? I understand that I alone, am responsible for my own behaviour and mental health so maybe I do need to be more mindful. If I slow down and listen to the world, maybe just maybe, the world will stop and take a breath with me too.

Then everyone can get what they want but just a little later than scheduled ;-D